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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Making waves on Threads:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Going viral on X:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just shared via Discord:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Live now on TikTok:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Breaking via X:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Funny eye doctor quotes

Funny eye doctor quotes 👓😂 are the perfect way to add a little sparkle to your day! Whether you’re sitting in the waiting room or just love clever puns about vision 👀, these witty sayings will make you smile and see the lighter side of eye care. Get ready to laugh your eyes out while celebrating the quirks of eye exams and those amazing doctors who keep us seeing clearly! 🌟👁️‍🗨️

New funny eye doctor quotes 👇

All funny eye doctor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

65 shares on Discord this month:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,299

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Shared recently on Discord:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Seen just now on Slack:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Going viral on YouTube:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Making waves on Threads:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

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