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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Trending via Threads:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Trending via Facebook:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Live now on Snapchat:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Just landed via Snapchat:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Shared recently on Discord:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

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Funny family reunion quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Making waves on TikTok:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Trending via Messenger:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Trending via Twitch:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Just landed via WeChat:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Trending via WeChat:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Just landed via Threads:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

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