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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Shared recently on Threads:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Going viral on X:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Going viral on Telegram:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Trending via WeChat:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Shared recently on Discord:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Live now on Slack:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Funny farmers quotes

New funny farmers quotes 👇

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

3 weeks ago

arts, arts and craft, business, craft, crafts, Etsy, failed, failed business, farmers, farmers market, humor, market, millennials, satire, shopping, should, unloading, vegetables

All funny farmers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

11 shares on Threads this month:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Live now on Messenger:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny farmers quotes

New funny farmers quotes 👇

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

All funny farmers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨