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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Just landed via Instagram:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Trending via Threads:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Shared recently on Instagram:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Making waves on TikTok:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Going viral on Discord:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Making waves on Twitch:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Funny Fast and Furious quotes

New funny Fast and Furious quotes 👇

All funny Fast and Furious quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

33 shares on X this month:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

100 shares on X this month:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think God was high when he made me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Trending via Threads:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Trending via YouTube:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Trending via Telegram:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Just shared via Threads:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

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