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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Going viral on Reddit:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Trending via YouTube:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Trending via X:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Just landed via Slack:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on YouTube this month:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Just shared via Twitch:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Spotted on Instagram:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Making waves on WeChat:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Going viral on Telegram:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

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