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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Trending via Discord:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Reported on Threads:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Trending via Instagram:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Just landed via Discord:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Making waves on Slack:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Spotted on Threads:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Making waves on Reddit:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Making waves on Reddit:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Spotted on Instagram:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

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