215 funny fitness quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

May 23, 2026

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

May 23, 2026

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

May 23, 2026

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

May 23, 2026

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

May 23, 2026

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

May 23, 2026

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

May 23, 2026

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

May 23, 2026

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

May 23, 2026

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

May 23, 2026

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

May 23, 2026

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

May 22, 2026

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

May 22, 2026

New year update: losing everything but weight.

May 22, 2026

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

May 22, 2026

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

May 22, 2026

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

May 22, 2026

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

May 22, 2026

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

May 22, 2026

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

May 22, 2026

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

May 22, 2026

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

May 22, 2026

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

May 22, 2026

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

May 22, 2026

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

May 22, 2026

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

May 22, 2026

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

May 22, 2026

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

May 22, 2026

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

May 22, 2026

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

May 22, 2026

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

May 22, 2026

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

May 22, 2026

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

May 22, 2026

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

May 22, 2026

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

May 22, 2026

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

May 22, 2026

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

May 22, 2026

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

May 22, 2026

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

May 22, 2026

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

May 22, 2026