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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending via Slack:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Spotted on YouTube:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Breaking via X:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Seen just now on Discord:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Breaking via YouTube:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Going viral on Threads:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on Reddit:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Breaking via WeChat:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Funny Four Horseman quotes

New funny Four Horseman quotes 👇

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

1 week ago

apocalypse, crossing, dating, fingers, four, Four Horseman, fun, horseman, humor, irony, joke, single

All funny Four Horseman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

74 shares on Slack this month:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Just landed via Snapchat:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Making waves on YouTube:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Just landed via Telegram:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Trending via Facebook:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Just landed via Threads:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Four Horseman quotes

New funny Four Horseman quotes 👇

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

All funny Four Horseman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨