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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Trending via WeChat:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Trending via X:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Live now on X:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Seen just now on Slack:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

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Funny frozen vegetable quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Shared recently on Discord:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Trending via Pinterest:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Reported on WhatsApp:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Live now on Messenger:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

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