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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

1 minute ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Shared recently on Discord:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Going viral on Instagram:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Reported on Facebook:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Shared recently on Discord:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Breaking via Telegram:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Reported on Snapchat:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Just landed via Facebook:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Home » Funny Funeral Home Quotes

Funny funeral home quotes

New funny funeral home quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Commentary:
Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

For even more funny funeral home quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny funeral home quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

1 minute ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Trending via YouTube:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Making waves on TikTok:

Cool times create cool guys.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Making waves on X:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Going viral on Twitch:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Reported on X:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

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