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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1845 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,007

Funny Quotes Topics

14,803

Funny Quotes Images

12,007

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Making waves on YouTube:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Trending via Threads:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Just shared via TikTok:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Going viral on Reddit:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1845 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,007

Funny Quotes Topics

14,803

Funny Quotes Images

12,007

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Just shared via Discord:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Reported on Telegram:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just landed via WeChat:

Coffee is just goth water.

Shared recently on TikTok:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Just landed via Reddit:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Making waves on Reddit:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

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