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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Breaking via Threads:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Trending via Facebook:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Just landed via Messenger:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Spotted on Threads:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Just landed via WeChat:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

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Funny getting things done quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Making waves on Threads:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Just shared via Messenger:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Trending via Telegram:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Breaking via Discord:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Live now on Facebook:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

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