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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Trending via Instagram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Just landed via Threads:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Reported on Facebook:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Going viral on YouTube:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Just shared via Pinterest:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Seen just now on Instagram:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Just landed via Threads:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Going viral on YouTube:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Just landed via Telegram:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just shared via WeChat:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

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