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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Seen just now on Discord:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Going viral on Twitch:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Going bananas on X:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Making waves on Reddit:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Going viral on Threads:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Breaking via Facebook:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Funny Grey’s Anatomy quotes

New funny Grey’s Anatomy quotes 👇

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

2 months ago

anatomy, department, drama, grey’s, Grey’s Anatomy, hospital, hr, HR department, humor, medical, medical drama, parody, perspective, television, workplace

All funny Grey’s Anatomy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Slack this month:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

59 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

19 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

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Funny Grey’s Anatomy quotes

New funny Grey’s Anatomy quotes 👇

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

All funny Grey’s Anatomy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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