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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has shared:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Discord:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Spotted on WeChat:

β€œYou have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Just shared via Slack:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Making waves on Facebook:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Funny hater quotes

Funny hater quotes are the perfect way to clap back with a smile 😏✨ When negativity pops up, why not turn it into a laugh? πŸ˜‚ These witty lines serve up clever comebacks that keep things light and playful πŸŽ‰ Whether you’re dealing with shade or just love a good roast, funny hater quotes bring humor to the haters’ game 🎭πŸ”₯ Get ready to laugh off the drama and sparkle on! 🌟

New funny hater quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny hater quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

Normalize saying, β€œJust as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

43 shares on Threads this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

45 shares on X this month:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has downloaded:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has shared:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has copied:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Seen just now on Discord:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Just shared via YouTube:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Spotted on Facebook:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Breaking via Slack:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

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