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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Trending via Threads:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Breaking via Threads:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Trending via Instagram:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Trending via Slack:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Funny health tip quotes

New funny health tip quotes 👇

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

2 months ago

crazy, every, exercise, going, health, health tip, humor, person, recommendation, smart, smart person, tip, walk, walks

All funny health tip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

92 shares on X this month:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Just landed via Discord:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Trending via Twitch:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Just landed via YouTube:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Going viral on Telegram:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Live now on TikTok:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny health tip quotes

New funny health tip quotes 👇

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

All funny health tip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨