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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2110 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,272

Funny Quotes Topics

15,003

Funny Quotes Images

12,272

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Shared recently on Messenger:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Just shared via Reddit:

Coffee is just goth water.

Just landed via Messenger:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Facebook:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Just shared via WeChat:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Trending via Discord:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2110 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,272

Funny Quotes Topics

15,003

Funny Quotes Images

12,272

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Making waves on Facebook:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Spotted on TikTok:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Just shared via Twitch:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Making waves on TikTok:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Going viral on Slack:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Spotted on X:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

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