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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Seen just now on Discord:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Seen just now on Facebook:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Just landed via Messenger:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Funny hold your horse quotes

New funny hold your horse quotes 👇

All funny hold your horse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Going viral on Facebook:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Trending via Telegram:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Just shared via Facebook:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Going viral on Messenger:

I only drink when I people.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴