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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Live now on Reddit:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Going viral on Telegram:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Making waves on YouTube:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Live now on Instagram:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

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Funny holiday chaos quotes

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All funny holiday chaos quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Reported on WhatsApp:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Just shared via Facebook:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Going viral on Reddit:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Going viral on Reddit:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Spotted on Facebook:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

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