Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Spotted on Facebook:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just landed via X:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Trending via Messenger:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Trending via Discord:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Going bananas on Discord:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Funny horrible things quotes

New funny horrible things quotes 👇

All funny horrible things quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

65 shares on Threads this month:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

80 shares on X this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Seen just now on Threads:

Half princess, half menace.

Spotted on TikTok:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Going viral on Slack:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Just landed via Telegram:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Trending via Messenger:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Live now on TikTok:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

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