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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Breaking via Messenger:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Seen just now on X:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Just landed via Threads:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Going bananas on Slack:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Funny hot one quotes

New funny hot one quotes 👇

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

2 weeks ago

date, dating, hot, hot one, humor, me, perks, relationship, self-confidence

All funny hot one quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

53 shares on X this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Spotted on Threads:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Just shared via Twitch:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Spotted on Twitch:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Trending via Instagram:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Going viral on X:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Spotted on Messenger:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

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Funny hot one quotes

New funny hot one quotes 👇

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

All funny hot one quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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