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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Spotted on Discord:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Just shared via Discord:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Making waves on Telegram:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Trending via Snapchat:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Funny human blanket quotes

New funny human blanket quotes 👇

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

5 days ago

blanket, call, couch, dream, friend, friends, human, human blanket, i, lifelong, lifelong dream, nap, napping, still

All funny human blanket quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

19 shares on X this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

94 shares on X this month:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

91 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

59 shares on Discord this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Just shared via Slack:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Live now on Threads:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Spotted on X:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Spotted on TikTok:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny human blanket quotes

New funny human blanket quotes 👇

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

All funny human blanket quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨