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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Trending via WeChat:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Going viral on Telegram:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Shared recently on Telegram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Just landed via Messenger:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Funny incoherent sentence quotes

New funny incoherent sentence quotes 👇

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

4 weeks ago

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All funny incoherent sentence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Discord this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

92 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

21 shares on Slack this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

25 shares on X this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Going viral on Slack:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Seen just now on Slack:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Going viral on Twitch:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Breaking via Messenger:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Going viral on Pinterest:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny incoherent sentence quotes

New funny incoherent sentence quotes 👇

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

All funny incoherent sentence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨