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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Spotted on Discord:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Trending via Telegram:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Going viral on Instagram:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Going viral on Facebook:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Spotted on TikTok:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

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