Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Live now on Discord:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Trending via TikTok:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Going viral on TikTok:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Just shared via Threads:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Just landed via Pinterest:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

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Funny irresponsibly quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Just landed via X:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Breaking via Messenger:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Just shared via Telegram:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Going viral on Telegram:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Live now on Facebook:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

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