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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Just shared via WeChat:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Just landed via Slack:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Live now on Facebook:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

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All funny jump scare quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

77 shares on X this month:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Earth is hard.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Just shared via YouTube:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Seen just now on YouTube:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Trending via Twitch:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

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