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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Going bananas on Reddit:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Trending via Threads:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Making waves on Threads:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Funny kettlebell quotes

New funny kettlebell quotes 👇

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

3 months ago

chip, chips, exercise, fitness, humor, i, kettle, kettle chip, kettlebell, misunderstanding, snack, thought, workout

All funny kettlebell quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Just landed via WeChat:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Just landed via Messenger:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Live now on Snapchat:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Breaking via Telegram:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny kettlebell quotes

New funny kettlebell quotes 👇

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

All funny kettlebell quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨