610 funny know quotes - Page 10 - Wordgag

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Mar 26, 2026

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Mar 26, 2026

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Mar 26, 2026

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Mar 26, 2026

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Mar 26, 2026

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Mar 26, 2026

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Mar 26, 2026

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Mar 26, 2026

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Mar 26, 2026

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Mar 26, 2026

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Mar 26, 2026

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Mar 26, 2026

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Mar 26, 2026

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Mar 26, 2026

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Mar 26, 2026

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Mar 26, 2026

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Mar 26, 2026

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Mar 26, 2026

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Mar 26, 2026

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Mar 26, 2026

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Mar 26, 2026

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Mar 26, 2026

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Mar 26, 2026

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Mar 25, 2026

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Mar 25, 2026

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Mar 25, 2026

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Mar 25, 2026

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Mar 25, 2026

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Mar 25, 2026

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Mar 25, 2026

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Mar 25, 2026

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Mar 25, 2026

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Mar 25, 2026

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Mar 25, 2026

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Mar 25, 2026

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Mar 25, 2026