Commentary:
Fruits and fashion—the ultimate combo for sweet success! 🍉👗😄
626 Funny know quotes
You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.
Commentary:
Relatable! My brain tilts like a confused puppy when I try to understand the latest slang 🤔🐶🔊
I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.
Commentary:
Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.
Commentary:
Sounds like he found the wrong kind of "ironic" love! 😉🎶 #YouOughtaKnow
I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a highly detailed nighttime drama series running in your head! 🌙🛌📚
I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.
Commentary:
Suddenly chillier than a penguin's picnic—watch your back! 🐧❄️😜
My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.
Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞
I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.
Commentary:
He might be hot enough to melt ice, but he definitely needs a GPS to find the punchline 😂🔥
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.
Commentary:
When someone asks about my weekend plans: 🎩✨ I'm not just mysterious, I'm a whole enigma wrapped in a riddle, sprinkled with confusion! 🤔🌀
My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.
Commentary:
Sounds like a high-latency relationship! 😂💻❤️