610 funny know quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Mar 30, 2026

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Mar 30, 2026

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Mar 30, 2026

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Mar 30, 2026

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Mar 30, 2026

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Mar 30, 2026

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Mar 30, 2026

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Mar 30, 2026

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Mar 30, 2026

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Mar 30, 2026

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Mar 30, 2026

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Mar 30, 2026

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Mar 30, 2026

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Mar 30, 2026

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Mar 30, 2026

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Mar 30, 2026

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Mar 30, 2026

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Mar 30, 2026

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Mar 30, 2026

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Mar 30, 2026

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Mar 30, 2026

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Mar 30, 2026

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Mar 30, 2026

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Mar 30, 2026

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Mar 30, 2026

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Mar 30, 2026

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Mar 30, 2026

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Mar 30, 2026

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Mar 30, 2026

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Mar 30, 2026

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Mar 30, 2026

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Mar 30, 2026

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Mar 30, 2026

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Mar 30, 2026

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Mar 30, 2026

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Mar 30, 2026

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Mar 30, 2026

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Mar 30, 2026

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Mar 30, 2026

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Mar 30, 2026