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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Trending via Facebook:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Reported on WeChat:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Trending via Messenger:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Making waves on Slack:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Reported on Facebook:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Live now on Slack:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Going viral on Instagram:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

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