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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Making waves on X:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Trending via Discord:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Just landed via YouTube:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope this email kills us both.

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Funny legal advice quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Making waves on Slack:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Just landed via Reddit:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Seen just now on Discord:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Going viral on X:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Shared recently on Slack:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Live now on WeChat:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

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