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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2388 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,550

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,550

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just landed via Instagram:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Going viral on Telegram:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Making waves on Threads:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Making waves on Discord:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Live now on X:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Shared recently on TikTok:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2388 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,550

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,550

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Seen just now on Messenger:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Reported on Slack:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Just landed via Threads:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Just shared via Instagram:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Trending via WeChat:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

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