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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Making waves on TikTok:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Just landed via Discord:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Just landed via Slack:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Trending via X:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Just landed via Discord:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Live now on Slack:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

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Funny lifeboat quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Going viral on YouTube:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Going viral on Slack:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Spotted on Threads:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Live now on Instagram:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Spotted on X:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Going viral on Facebook:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

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