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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Trending via Twitch:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Making waves on X:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Funny lifeboat quotes

New funny lifeboat quotes 👇

All funny lifeboat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Discord this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Making waves on Telegram:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Just landed via Facebook:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Making waves on Telegram:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

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