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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Just shared via Slack:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Just shared via Slack:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Live now on Telegram:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Trending via Threads:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Going viral on Threads:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Trending via Facebook:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Reported on Instagram:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Seen just now on Twitch:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Spotted on Discord:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Shared recently on X:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

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