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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Making waves on Messenger:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Shared recently on Slack:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Going bananas on Slack:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Seen just now on Reddit:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Just landed via WeChat:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Trending via Slack:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Just shared via YouTube:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Funny linens quotes

New funny linens quotes 👇

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

2 weeks ago

fitted, fitted sheet, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, linens, never, notice, observation, sheet, wear

All funny linens quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

53 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Just shared via Twitch:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Breaking via X:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Going viral on X:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Spotted on Reddit:

Not again. I mean good morning.

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Funny linens quotes

New funny linens quotes 👇

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

All funny linens quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨