Funny literal meaning quotes

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.