Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Going bananas on Slack:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Just shared via WeChat:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Going viral on Facebook:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Just landed via Twitch:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Funny local legend quotes

New funny local legend quotes 👇

All funny local legend quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

47 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

43 shares on Slack this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Just shared via Reddit:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Spotted on TikTok:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Breaking via X:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Spotted on Telegram:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴