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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Seen just now on Discord:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Making waves on Facebook:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Just landed via YouTube:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Funny Mahjong quotes

New funny Mahjong quotes 👇

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

7 days ago

activity, age, excited, excitement, fun, fun activity, game, humor, learn, learning, Mahjong, old, play

All funny Mahjong quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

98 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Going viral on Reddit:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Making waves on Threads:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Trending via Snapchat:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Trending via YouTube:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Making waves on Telegram:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Just landed via TikTok:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Mahjong quotes

New funny Mahjong quotes 👇

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

All funny Mahjong quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨