Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Making waves on X:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Making waves on Slack:

I disagree with my politics.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Going viral on Messenger:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Just shared via Threads:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Trending via Slack:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Funny makeover quotes

New funny makeover quotes 👇

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

1 month ago

back, beauty, going, hairdresser, humor, i, makeover, much, self-care, thinking, today, tomorrow, younger

All funny makeover quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

49 shares on Discord this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Making waves on YouTube:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Just landed via Slack:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Trending via Messenger:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Making waves on Telegram:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Spotted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Just landed via X:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Making waves on Messenger:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny makeover quotes

New funny makeover quotes 👇

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

All funny makeover quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨