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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Live now on X:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Just landed via TikTok:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Spotted on Discord:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Live now on Twitch:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Live now on Messenger:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Breaking via Discord:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Just shared via TikTok:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Just shared via Threads:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Breaking via Twitch:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Live now on WeChat:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Spotted on TikTok:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Live now on Twitch:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

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