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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

You are the Monday of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1961 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,123

Funny Quotes Topics

14,891

Funny Quotes Images

12,123

Updated

47 seconds ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Just shared via Reddit:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Breaking via Telegram:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1961 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,123

Funny Quotes Topics

14,891

Funny Quotes Images

12,123

Updated

47 seconds ago

Users Online

3,455

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Going viral on Slack:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Trending via YouTube:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Just landed via Telegram:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Going viral on X:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Going viral on Instagram:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

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