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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Just shared via TikTok:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Making waves on Slack:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Making waves on Twitch:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Funny Mary Poppins quotes

New funny Mary Poppins quotes 👇

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

0

2 months ago

British, cultural, downstairs, humor, jump, jumping, just, Mary, Mary Poppins, never, open, people, poppins, stereotype, umbrella, whimsical, window

Someone from 🇪🇸 has recently copied this quote.

96 shares on Twitch this month.

All funny Mary Poppins quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

24 shares on Discord this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I only drink when I people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Going viral on YouTube:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Mary Poppins quotes

New funny Mary Poppins quotes 👇

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

All funny Mary Poppins quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨