Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Just shared via Messenger:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Going bananas on X:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Just landed via TikTok:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Making waves on Discord:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Shared recently on Messenger:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Funny megabyte quotes

New funny megabyte quotes 👇

All funny megabyte quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

18 shares on Discord this month:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Breaking via WeChat:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Spotted on Instagram:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Trending via YouTube:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Live now on Twitch:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Breaking via Instagram:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Just shared via WeChat:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Making waves on TikTok:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

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