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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Trending via Telegram:

50 shades of single.

Freshly posted on X:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Live now on Telegram:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Trending via Pinterest:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Live now on X:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Making waves on Twitch:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Making waves on YouTube:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Trending via Threads:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Live now on Pinterest:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Going viral on Threads:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Freshly posted on X:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

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