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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Live now on Messenger:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Spotted on Slack:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Going bananas on Threads:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Live now on Messenger:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Trending via Messenger:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

95 shares on Threads this month:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

21 shares on X this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

94 shares on Slack this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

97 shares on Slack this month:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Spotted on Facebook:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Just shared via Instagram:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Live now on X:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Live now on Snapchat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

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