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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Going viral on Messenger:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Just shared via Reddit:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Funny meth head quotes

New funny meth head quotes 👇

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

2 months ago

contrast, good, good teeth, head, humor, meth, meth head, rare, teeth, uniqueness

All funny meth head quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

71 shares on Discord this month:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Live now on Reddit:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Just landed via Discord:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Just shared via TikTok:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Freshly posted on X:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny meth head quotes

New funny meth head quotes 👇

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

All funny meth head quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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