Funny meth head quotes

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.