Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Trending via TikTok:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Shared recently on Discord:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Going viral on Threads:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Funny metric system quotes

New funny metric system quotes 👇

All funny metric system quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

51 shares on Discord this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

100 shares on Slack this month:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

98 shares on Slack this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,754

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Just shared via Pinterest:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Shared recently on X:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Live now on Facebook:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Freshly posted on Threads:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Spotted on YouTube:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

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