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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Just landed via Discord:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Breaking via TikTok:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Trending via Telegram:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Trending via Telegram:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Shared recently on Discord:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Funny mind reader quotes

Funny mind reader quotes 🧠✨ bring a hilarious twist to the mysterious art of knowing what others think! Whether you’re imagining psychic powers or just good old-fashioned intuition, these witty lines will have you chuckling and wondering if someone’s reading your mind right now 👀😂. Ready to dive into some playful brainwaves? Let’s unlock laughter and clever vibes together! 🎉🔮

New funny mind reader quotes 👇

All funny mind reader quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

12 shares on X this month:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

95 shares on Threads this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,312

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Seen just now on Slack:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Breaking via Threads:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Live now on Telegram:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Making waves on Threads:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Live now on Discord:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

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