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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Spotted on Messenger:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Spotted on Slack:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Breaking via Threads:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Shared recently on Threads:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Making waves on YouTube:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Spotted on Slack:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Just landed via Messenger:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Live now on Reddit:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Spotted on YouTube:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Reported on YouTube:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Trending via Threads:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Trending via Slack:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

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