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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Just landed via Facebook:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Trending via Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Breaking via WeChat:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Just landed via Facebook:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Just shared via X:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Funny Noam Chomsky quotes

Funny Noam Chomsky quotes bring a clever twist to deep ideas 🤓💡, mixing sharp wit with intellectual charm! Whether you’re a language nerd or just love a good laugh 😂📚, these gems show that even the smartest minds can keep it light and playful. Ready for some brainy humor that’ll make you think and chuckle? Let’s dive into the world of Noam’s funniest moments! 🎉🧠

New funny Noam Chomsky quotes 👇

All funny Noam Chomsky quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Spotted on Facebook:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Live now on Instagram:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Breaking via X:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Live now on Telegram:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Just landed via WeChat:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

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