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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Spotted on Slack:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Spotted on Reddit:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Going viral on Discord:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Freshly posted on X:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Trending via LinkedIn:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Making waves on Threads:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Trending via Reddit:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Just landed via Threads:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Shared recently on Discord:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

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