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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Just shared via Slack:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Making waves on X:

These aliens are taking forever.

Just shared via Threads:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Making waves on Discord:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Just landed via Messenger:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Spotted on Discord:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Reported on Telegram:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Live now on Telegram:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Going viral on Messenger:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Spotted on YouTube:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Just landed via X:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

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