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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,928

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Going viral on X:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Trending via Telegram:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Making waves on Facebook:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Trending via Messenger:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Trending via Reddit:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Going viral on TikTok:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Funny not now quotes

Funny not now quotes are the perfect way to add a little sass and humor when you’re just not in the mood ⏳😴 Whether you’re dodging tasks or avoiding awkward convos, these witty lines keep things light and entertaining 😂🙅‍♂️ Ready to master the art of the polite pause with a smile? Let’s dive into some laughs and clever comebacks that say not now—but make it fun! 🎉😎

New funny not now quotes 👇

All funny not now quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Discord this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

47 shares on X this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

34 shares on Slack this month:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Going viral on X:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Spotted on Snapchat:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Just landed via Facebook:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Spotted on Instagram:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Spotted on Twitch:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Seen just now on Threads:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

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